The wurster, the better

Our daughter had been off all medications except for adderrall for a while (perhaps 6 weeks or so). She was doing quite well, except for some new behaviors, like ripping paper. But she seemed to be progressing better than she ever had. She had become more verbal and talking with us ever so slightly. That is great.

The biofeedback sessions have been tricky though. At times, she takes off the headband quite frequently. It started only with me doing the sessions, but then happened with the professional we go to once a week. We don’t know why.

The psychiatrist suggested she be put on abilify and so that started yesterday. Of course, it will be monitored. I really need to look into it as my wife has done.

Also, a new school placement is in the future to help her as best we can in the last year of her education.

It seems that my wife has gotten to a point she was several years ago in our struggle to get appropriate education for our daughter. She is angry and emotional (more so than usual) over what our daughter is not getting. The way our daughter is being treated at school is not acceptable. This is primarily due to her behaviors and the fact that the school has no idea what to do. However, we now have some hope because the behavior plan is done with appropriate goals and objectives. I hope now her pain will ease.

But she will graduate next year as she will be 21 and then what? At this point we have no solutions but will continue the struggle and fight. And it is a fight or war as a friend put it.

Life is not easy. My wife does a lot and could make life a little easier for herself but can’t we all. I am trying to keep my own sanity in this insane situation so that I can keep my job and bring in the money we need. I appreciate what she does. I try to help out in the ways I can. I get criticized for not helping enough, but you can’t have two cooks in the kitchen.

And now, we have no TSS. We are back to where we were last year. It’s been suggested that we advertise ourselves and find someone who can be hired by our service provider. And the search has begun. We just need a little ad to distribute.

The homeopathic remedy huoang-nan seemed to have a good affect on our daughter this past week. We noticed that she was more verbal at home. And we found out from talking to the BSC who had observed her at school this week, that she was much more talkative than she had ever seen. She was using sentences and actually telling other children to be quiet. So, that’s the good news. And our daughter received another dose yesterday.

The bad news is that the BSC observed at school all of the things that we had told her. It seems that people are surprised when we tell them our story but verify that what we said is true by their observations.

Not sure how this all will play out when the behavior plan is completed and implemented, but I hope positively. It appears that the school doesn’t know how to deal with our daughter. They are not creative and do not go beyond what they have been told or what they know. It seems that the one-on-one does not have a good relationship with our daughter. And this is not good as our daughter needs the social contact and respect of those who work with her if she is to learn. She is just there for behavior and not to help her be educated. That will have to change if our daughter is to succeed.

Putting our daughter in the behavior room when she was asked if she wanted to go to the store, is not the correct handling of this behavior. I hope that the behavior plan will remedy this. The staff really need to be educated how to deal with our daughter.

And as ae have always suspected, what is written in her communications book is short and concise and does not give a true picture of the day at school. The BSC looked at the communications book for the day she was there and it was not a true description of how that day went. She observed our daughter as being agitated while the daily log mentioned pretty much that the day went fine. We must get this corrected, but how.

Well, it is now official. Our oldest daughter has decided to go to grad school at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore. How did I find this out? She asked me the other night to help her fax something. That something was a down payment and acceptance offer on an apartment in Baltimore. A strange way to find out but that is how we act in our family. We don’t share or communicate easily. I wish we could get over this, because it would make our lives much easier. I don’t understand why we can’t see this.

Sometimes I feel like a failure as a parent. If I was a better father, this would not have happened. I wish Tabitha could see that and my wife and me too. We are not mere hurdles in our daughter’s living her life. We are there to help and share in her experiences. We want to. She is leaving and probably won’t ever return. She has her escape. I feel like this many times, but know that running away does not solve anything. At some point, we will have to deal with the situation. I hope she finds this out sooner than later, as it will affect her in the rest of her life.

We are very proud of her and love her a lot.

Nothing ever stays permanent, nor should it (in many cases). Ideas change. Research improves our knowledge of things, helping us make better decisions (we hope). We get older and retire or die. Our needs change. All of these things cause change and change is good (we are told).

Having just gone through our weekly Springfield Press, I noticed a couple of things. One is that the high school principal is on a sabbatical and has been permanently replaced by someone new. Then, reading further on in the article, the last sentence said (kind of as an aside) that Jim Johnson was leaving the school district to become an elementary school principal in Gladwynne. So, I thought.

Then I realized that my daughter Alicia’s class is graduating this year. Another milestone and moving on. Alicia won’t be graduating with them because she is in another school because of her special needs. Her classmates and friends are going on to college taking the next step in their lives. Alicia’s steps have been small and the rest of her journey remains to unfold.

I remember Jim Johnson from our daughters elementary school days at Sabold. Those were very happy days and the beginning of their education. Elementary education is the key beginning to a child’s expansion of his or her knowledge. It is the beginning to many years in an education system which sometimes looses track of the individual being concerned with the children as a whole. The time spent under Jim’s management was a wonderful time for our daughters. Many of the staff from those days are still there. Jim was an excellent manager, a caring individual, a friend, and concerned citizen of our community. I am very happy for him especially since there are others who value his experience as a principal. Good luck in your new endeavors!