The wurster, the better

Someone I know asked what I was going to get for Christmas. My wife and daughters have asked me for my list. What I really want is to be able to do all the things that I have to do and all the things I want to do. This has not been any easy task and is getting harder as I get older. Life just doesn’t cooperate.

I have also been thinking about the loved ones we have lost this year. I kind of dwell on my own feelings and not on others feelings. Although they have similar feelings about those who died. I guess I have taken this for granted and don’t appreciate what each one of us is going through. For example, with the recent loss of my Mom, I know that my brothers and I are feeling sad and empty especially at this time of year, but I haven’t taken the time to consider that our wives are also feeling the loss, maybe even more than us. Moms and daughters or daughter-in-laws seem to have a special bond. I know that they had this bond with my Mom. So, maybe they have much more to deal with that we, her sons.

If I haven’t told you or tried to comfort you, then I apologize. I will try to do better, although we Wursters are kind of non-emotional most of the time. Some would call us ornery or pains in the butt. That is just who we are. Sorry.

This past weekend, we cleaned out a little more of my Mom’s house. It’s amazing how much stuff one accumulates over a lifetime. We got together 8 more large trash bags full of clothes. That was one brother’s job. Another brother went through the years of paperwork (check stubs, income tax stuff, receipts) and shredded them. He did uncover or discover interesting items that we are saving. One of these was the original bill for the second floor addition that was done on our house back in 1957. It cost $1100. Today, it would cost about $30,000. We found a paperhanging receipt for $42. we found more. I’m going to put together some kind of a historical perspective (when I can motivate myself to do so). I’m also going to scan in the many years of photographs.

This and other occurrences in our family, makes me think more and more about the inevitability of my life. I still have a lot of living to do. I just need to do it. So many depend on me. And I need to make sure they are covered and taken care of when I move on the the nether world.

I also found out this week that I really need to be working from home as there is so much that I have to do and can’t do them when I am away from the house. My time and energy is utilized best when I am around.

This is my 9th year at work at PFPC and it’s predecessors (and my former employers). It is also review time which I need to chill out about.

You try to do what is right and follow whatever procedures you can find, but sometimes you run into obstacles. There is no “dummies for death” to help you along the way. So, what do you do? You try to be prepared for this. Luckily my Mom was very organized and was prepared. She wanted me to be co-owner of various things, including bank accounts. That helped a lot.

You might also want to consider being a co-owner of all your parent’s assets. That will certainly help out. And there may be other things that you can do for your parents as they get older.

But once the death occurs, you are really put into a state of chaos with all the emotions and grief that one goes through. You need to think, but sometimes it’s not possible. You’ll have to take care of:

• credit cards
• medical insurance
• auto insurance
• homeowners insurance
• the mail
• electric
• gas
• water
• phone
• assets like bank accounts, car, etc.

My Mom passed away on Thursday or Friday, we’re not sure. We knew that when we got no answer late Thursday that something was wrong. So when we went to see her on Friday morning, we found her dead on the living room floor. It’s never pleasant to see anyone die or dead, but it is worse when it’s your Mom or Dad. You feel they are so invincible but yet time marches on. And we truly don’t live forever.

It will be much different now that we won’t see her every weekend and talk to her during the week. I know she is safe and in no pain now and with her family who has passed on.

My Mom and Dad raised great kids and grandchildren. That is her legacy, a loving and caring family who will contribute to our world. We will remember her and try to think about the life we had in dealing with this sorrowful time. I know how I feel and my oldest daughter and wife, but don’t know how our youngest daughter is taking it and how she is feeling. That is what pains me the most.

So, care for your loved ones because we all need one another.

Why do bad things happen to good people? Our nephew Dave was killed in a car accident last Thursday night. I’ll really miss him. He seemed to have found his niche in life as a Border Patrol agent. When we saw him last, it was over the holidays. He seemed really happy and really liked what he was doing. But maybe, he didn’t come home for the holidays, now that I think about it. My mind is all confused.

Life seems so senseless at time like this. There is no matter of explanation that can stop the hurt and pain that we are all going through, especially his parents and brother and sister. I don’t understand why he was taken from us. I’m sure he is watching down from heaven. If only he could explain why and maybe get my brother to help explain.

When I heard the news on Friday morning, I seemed to start listening to musics on-line. I found myself listening to Clocks by ColdPlay, the same song I listened to when my younger brother died 4 years ago. Why?

There is a website for officers killed in the line of duty. If you knew Dave, I hope you’ll visit it and add your thoughts.