I had arthroscopic surgery way back on May 5th for torn meniscus in my left knee. It seemed like the logical thing to do, but now I wonder. I have been going to physical therapy for 4 weeks and have only seen minor improvement. In fact, my right leg now feels extremely bad and I hobble around like an old man, thinking I need a cane. Well, I am old (61) but have never felt like this.
Not only am I feeling physically down, I am also feeling depressed not being able to do what I have always done. My family is suffering the brunt of my anger which should be directed towards myself but seems to be directed at anything that I don’t like or agree with. I struggle with controlling this because it shouldn’t be directed towards others especially my family. It’s not their fault. Maybe it’s no one’s.
This is just one more added stressor in my life. I am concerned and worried about my daughter’s future now that she is 21 and in the adult mental health / autism system. We have been struggling with legal issues to help ensure her future. It has been a long and tiring struggle and not over yet.
Yesterday I learned that the camp where my daughter goes this summer is planning a field trip today to the Gallery in Philadelphia, going by train. I remember back to almost 5 years ago when my daughter had a breakdown on such a trip when she was at Elwyn. But that was at Christmas time when it was very crowded and caused her sensory integration issues to take over. I fear that something similar might happen. I will be very happy when today is over and she is home from camp all happy and smiling.
And tomorrow night will be a sleepover at camp. Another thing I worry about. But it will be a good experience for her, but yet I worry. I am a father.