How do you find out what is really bothering someone? Well, you would usually ask them. And you would hope that they would reply in a truthful manner. But what if someone could not (or would not) reply? What would you do?
My daughter gets into unusual moods and elicits certain behaviors. She rips papers, magazines, and books. She takes things apart (but can’t put them back together). She plays with puzzles but seems not to want to put them together. However, she was playing a puzzle game on the computer and was putting the pieces together. Although, at times, on the computer, she just seems to click randomly with not much purpose. She moves things around on her desktop but doesn’t delete them.
She has started standing right up close to our new LCD HDTV. She has always been afraid of movies (in theaters). But at home now, she seems to enjoy the big screen. However, she gets afraid of certain things that happen on the screen, maybe mostly with zooming in and out in certain scenes.
She started petting our dog the other day which she never did? She always picks up our cat, but hasn’t gotten this friendly with our dog ever. She follows you around event when you don’t want her to. She seems not to identify others private space.
She seems to be more sensitive to things at certain times. The biofeedback that I do with her sometimes annoys her such that she takes off the headband. At other times, she sits through the entire 15-20 minute HEG session. Why? I thought there was a pattern when she had done some physical exercise (on the trampoline or walking), all was well. When her Mom annoys her, she is noticeably annoyed and doesn’t do well. It may have to do with the video that is being used during the session. She really likes some more so than others.
Maybe she had a bad day at school. We won’t ever learn this from her because she doesn’t communicate well.
We continue to try and learn. Lately, having read some comments on a neurofeedback listserve, I feel that a neuro reorg may be important for her at this time. She is exploring and seeming to come out of her trauma. It’s as if she were a 3 year old again. She tests and tries everything. We have to keep things locked up as we parents do when our kids are young. It seems that she is rebuilding the neurological connections that she lost in her trauma.
What is it that we need to do now? We have gotten her out of her current school and into another that will hopefully be able to guide her in her last year in the education system. She will be 20 next month and at 21 is deemed an adult. Then, we need to find things in the adult behavior system for her to take part in, as long as there is funding.